What is the Institution of Marriage ~ Timothy Dalrymple
When we take a look at human history, what we can be impressed by is the remarkable continuity in what marriage has meant across time and across multiple cultures. There are variations, to be sure, including some important ones (like polygamy or concubinage), but the most important variations almost invariably served the interests of those in power. Some Christians have believed that polygamy was necessary at some times in biblical history, and may be acceptable in some circumstances (amongst jungle tribesmen, for instance) where mortality rates are high, or etc. Others believe that figures like Solomon were simply wrong and sinful in taking multiple wives and concubines. In any case, the model of marriage has been remarkably stable in the Judeo-Christian tradition for two-thousand years. Even outside that tradition, almost every culture has had something like marriage; and the greatest variation is over the issue of polygamy, but many Christians simply see (and condemn) modern polygamy as a case of men behaving badly. And for Christians, it doesn’t particularly matter whether other cultures have gotten it right, or even whether their own history represents the ideal well, but whether the institution and ideal of marriage emerges from scripture and church teaching. Falling short of the ideal is not, in itself, reason to trash it.
First, marriage is the uniting of elements that are fundamentally, naturally and beautifully different. The Christian tradition has not seen male/female differences as merely cultural constructs. While there are always cultural factors in how masculinity and femininity are expressed and valued, there are always also natural — which is to say created and ordained, purposeful and beautiful — factors distinguishing male/female and masculinity/femininity.
Second, in marriage the different elements of male and female unite in a complementary, creative and purposeful way. We are irreducibly relational creatures. We are all created for relationship — relationship with God, with friends and community, and in many cases with a spouse and children. Now, something important needs to be stated here: not all people are meant for marriage. The Christian tradition teaches very clearly that some are called to remain single in order to pursue the calling God has for them. The rest, however, and the vast majority, are meant to unite with a person of the opposite sex and become ‘one flesh’.
When you find a spouse, you are finding one of the greatest tools that God will ever use to shape you, and one of the great vessels of God’s grace into your life. I’m speaking here of what marriage is intended to be, and what it can be (at least in general) when two individuals are seeking and submitting to God’s will. And here’s the rub: the male will be complemented and enriched, edified and humbled, challenged and improved by the female, just as the female will by the male. Traditional Christians have long believed that this is a part of the natural order created and ordained by God; the male is meant for the female, and the female for the male, for companionship, for sanctification, for refuge, and for bringing new life into the world.
Men and women enter into a lifelong commitment both for their own sakes (so that they can be themselves and give themselves in complete security) and for the sake of any children they might have. Not all married couples have children, of course. This does not make their marriages any less valuable. But it also doesn’t change the fact (from the Christian perspective) that marriage in general is intended, among other things, to provide children with a safe, stable environment, and one in which they can learn to understand, love, and be loved by both men and women. It is, to my mind, one of the sublime mysteries of Christian doctrine that a relational (Triune), self-giving (sacrificial) Creator God invites his children through relationship and through their self-giving to participate in his constant task of creating and preserving, nurturing and maturing new life.
Third, the church traditionally has taught that the natural bond and creative complementarity of male and female is rooted in the created order. Marriage is a social contract (a covenant between two people), but it is not a social construct. Marriage is an enduring social arrangement (an institution) ordained by God, rooted in the different ways in which God has created us, and intended by God as a sacrament of his grace. We are not free to redefine marriage any more than we are free to redefine the laws of physics. We might call something else marriage, but that will not make it so.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/philosophicalfragments/2011/07/14/what-really-is-the-institution-of-marriage/
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